I was recently left by a boy and I broke. I would weep, ask him why he was leaving when he decided to. Did you fall out of love? Did I do something wrong? I must have done something wrong.

All he would say to me then was that it wasn’t me, but him. He needed to figure things out. Yet I thought, what ever happened to all those promises he had made? How could they have become futile in a spilt second? I never believed or rather never wanted to believe that all the effort we put in to maintain a relationship and a connection which I thought was deep and meaningful, would disappear completely without any clear explanation.

Then on one of my more fortunate misery days, I watched a movie. It was about the life of Jane Goodall, the brilliant primatologist. Her man once told her that he wanted them to make up their mind about the future. He said he needed someone to be with him wherever his work took him. Jane loved him of course and so almost decided to let go of her dreams just to be by his side. Before she ventured to make this bold but poignant decision, she asked her mother.

Mother said to her darling little Jane;

“There is no such thing as a man whose heart really breaks”

“Their work is nearly always first, and their dreams and then the woman who is to be a complement to all those things.”

I think then, if this is how a man works, no wonder it is a man’s world. He cares not about her first because he knows that life is about preventing apathy. He knows love’s eventual fate is apathy and that is why he also knows to not make love the purpose of his life.

Woman, the unfortunate and hard truth is that if you want to be successful in man’s world, you have to learn from him. Then you will become the woman all men and women look up to.

Jane’s mother speaks from a world of experience, she tells Jane that every man can be shaken off. Woman, Jane’s mother is right. You can and must live for yourself and he can always be shaken off.